Your prayerful presence is all that is needed.


Your prayerful presence is all that is needed. 

That was the helpful advice that I got today.

A dear friend died the other night of pancreatic cancer, which is the same form of cancer that killed my partner Bill.

Her husband is, understandably, in a fragile state having just lost his beloved wife of many years.

I worked with him and his wife for many years and feel deep affection for them. And there is the potent parallel of how our spouses died.

Since getting the news, I have been struggling to imagine how I could be of any help to him.

He already has lots of helping hands around him.

His family is staying with him. The university and church communities have rallied to provide emotional and practical support.

There are more qualified people than me to assist him with the arrangements for a memorial.

He doesn’t need me to bake a pie, not that I would be very good at that anyways.

Further, I am nervous about how emotionally stable I could be. I know that there’s nothing wrong with crying together. But, still, I don’t want to impose my on-going grief over the loss of Bill onto his fresh wound. Not right now.

Your prayerful presence is all that is needed.

Yes, that is wise advice. I can pray for the bereaved husband. That can be my gift to him at this time. And by grace, the gift will bless both him and me.

1 Comment

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One response to “Your prayerful presence is all that is needed.

  1. uvmer

    He probably knows this, but for me, it was good to be around those who truly understood what I was feeling. I would get people saying to me…"I know how you feel…I lost my grandmother…my father….my sister… Although they are all very significant losses, its not the same as the person you shared your days with, your hopes and dreams with, and a planned future with. Coming home to an empty house is not the same as losing your grandmother. It was nice to look into the eyes of someone who just knew. Never much wanted to be prayed for….just understood….an understanding of the totally shredded heart inside my chest.

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